Wednesday, November 14, 2007

getting back to the garden

this was the year to unfuck my life, and i suddenly find myself moving into the third and final phase of that plan. we close on the new place today, and i'll be cleaning and moving until Thanksgiving. i won't have internet until the last week of november, but i'll probably run to a nearby town once or twice to check my gmail and peek in here. (i lost a lot of mail and email addresses with my two computer swaps, so please use my gmail address. i dislike gmail, but i can now really see the benefit.)

i moved to the city almost eight years ago. i've always said living here is a little like being held underwater.

don't get me wrong. i love the twin cities and i always thought i would be able to adjust, but it never happened. I've spent years searching for solitude and quiet in order to write, but solitude and quiet doesn't exist here. This place is all about noise and energy.

I thought the condo would simplify my life, but instead it complicated it in a very water torture, mundane sort of way. By early July i was losing my mind and looking for a cabin in northern MN and WI. cold was no longer an issue -- escape was. i'd been looking for an old church or schoolhouse off and on for seven years, but i'd pretty much given up on that idea when i came upon the church listing.

a weird chain of events led to it -- the sale of my house -- which in this market i now realize was in itself amazing, the unsuitable condo situation, stumbling across the church listing completely by chance, a buyer's market, a seller/architect who had hoped an artist of some sort would live in the world he'd created, an absolutely amazing real estate agent i originally didn't want to work with because i was dead set against working with a guy, a mortgage broker who never gave up. So many people working so hard to make something happen. I also think the trip to Sweden reset my brain and got me off autopilot at just the right time.

As writers, I wonder if we sometimes have a harder time figuring out our own lives because we view the world through so many eyes. We know what our characters want, but we don't always know what we want.

We live so many lives that aren't our own, and maybe we live our lives less fully because of that.

so will this final phase unfuck my life? maybe. maybe not.


Heather Harper said...

You can always buy an electric blanket, so congratulations on finding a peaceful place to rest your head every night. :)

Do you have a fireplace in church?

And it was so refreshing to read the word fuck. I visit too many YA blogs. ;)

angie said...

I think blogger hates me - just tried to post and got a weird error message. Dammit.

ANYWAY, even if this move doesn't unfuck your life, at least it'll be a chance to try living life the way you want. And that is super cool!

Best wishes for a smooth moving experience & a more peaceful living environment to finish your next book in!

anne said...

heh! heather, i'm glad you appreciated my using fuck. i have to confess that i did have it in the title and decided it might be a bit much for some people.

the church does have a fireplace. it's massive, so i'm afraid it might actually suck all of the heat out of the place. i can't wait to test drive it. :D

anne said...

angie, maybe we were trying to post at the same time. i have the feeling it will be the perfect writing environment for my current project. a good place for reflection.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Thinking of you and hoping you've found the place you need to be.

Anonymous said...

I hope you plan on giving your guests Hymnals.

If you play organ/synthesizer, make sure you use the canned percussion feature. Samba maybe. That's always a nice touch.

Glad so much is coming together for you.

Kelly Parra said...

I'm really glad this is working out! And I can't wait to see pics. :) :)

cinderelly said...

good luck to you in your move! i sounds like a great place. hope everything goes smoothly.

lester A. frack said...

i beleeve i no at feller in the pitcher a typin. he wus in my class in skool an i used to cheet off his papers.
are u gonna go to preechin wen u move in at church house?
i like church soshals.

anne frasier said...

thanks, patti! i have to kind of admit the place is freaking me out a bit. i think because it's been empty so long!

i'm back in the twin cities right now to pick up another load.

jason, i wonder if people will start showing up on sundays...

thanks, kelly! i think since you like cold so much, you should come and visit. :D

thanks, cinderelly!

lester, i'm thinking of hold sunday services. yesterday i baptized a baby and heard two confessions.

Daniel Hatadi said...

I wonder what the people that made the church in the first place would think when they found out you were moving there to unfuck your life?

Whatever it was, I'm sure it's yet another good reason to do what you're doing.

You go, girl!

Jamie Ford said...

Will your home have a confessional?

I still think starting your own religion would be a good idea. Just think of all the tax breaks...

Tami said...

Congrats again on the house! Can't wait to see the pics! I sure wish I could "unfuck" my life right about now.

We should throw a blog housewarming party!

anne frasier said...

daniel -- hah. yeah, that's pretty evil of me.

jamie, i knew a guy who held sunday service for his wife, and didn't have to pay property tax.

tami, it's hard, ain't it? sigh.

Mary Louisa said...

Anne, Anne, Anne. I picked up Garden of Darkness last night at Borders!! (Four days early, no less!) I also moved a few copies to the new paperbacks stand. ;) Can't wait to dig in...


I am so happy for you on the book release and especially the move. I am really missing an update on how it is all going, but I know that will come. One day, I'd love to be there for a demonstration of that fireplace. Perhaps we can all come camp out for a revival (do they even have those in the north?).

anne frasier said...

mary louisa, thank you!!! and so good to get a book report! since i'm out in the boonies, i'm not going to see my book on many if any shelves. we cranked up the fireplace on thanksgiving. kinda smoky. haha! i'm going to have to do some experimenting i think. a revival would be fantastic! i love the idea. or a writer's camp where we don't write -- we just play. hiking, canoing, fishing, campfire, wine... marshmallows... i'm always looking for a way to get out of work.