Saturday, June 25, 2005

land of the dead

I was almost the only female in the theater. Almost. Shortly before the movie started, a guy and girl sat right behind me and began making out. Then an ad for a rob zombie movie came on, and the guy jumped up and shouted, “Yeah, Rob! Rob Zombie!” okay, two of my favorite theater things going on, and the movie hasn’t even started.

So now it’s me, thirty fat guys -- I’m sorry. I know that’s a stereotype, but I’m telling the absolute truth here -- me, thirty fat guys, a screen shouter, and a mall rat. I begin to wonder if something is wrong with me.

I move to another seat on the other side of the theater.

Someone sits right behind me with some kind of stinky spam sandwich that makes my throat burn. By this time the movie has started and I’m sinking down in my seat, pulling the neckline of my shirt up over my nose.

What’s wrong with me?

Girls don’t like zombie movies.
There’s something wrong with me.

But as soon as the movie starts and the zombies begin to move in that sweet, sluggish way they do, I smile. And I keep smiling.

I love zombies.

And I think I’ve figured out why most girls don’t like zombie movies. It isn’t because there isn’t a lot personal growth and angst and girl talk and deep feelings exposed and explored. It’s the gore. As soon as the gore starts, my mind begins to drift. I find myself wondering if they have cinnamon scones at the nearby caribou coffee. On screen, a zombie reaches deep into the mouth of a victim and pulls out what I think is a heart. Could be a lung, but I think it’s a heart. If they don’t have cinnamon, the lemon scones are pretty good…

And then we have the thing I try not to think about: If zombies are dead, how is it they “die” when they are shot? Oh, stop it! Don’t think about that! I mean, I could get it if they had their legs cut off and could no longer get from point A to point B, or they were incinerated. That’s the best solution. Turn them to ashes. But shot? It’s a zombie movie, for chrissake. It doesn’t always have to make sense. Yeah, but, but, but… I almost think there was an explanation for that in night of the living dead, but I don’t remember what it was….

I give it an 8 out of 10. maybe 9 out of 10, but nostalgia and my lovelovelove for night of the living dead and my respect for george romero probably play into those numbers. That opening half hour in night of the living dead – if you’ve never seen it, you have to see it. Amazing. Absolutely amazing.

I love zombies.

6 comments:

(Jack)ie said...

Anne, for those that haven't seen " Night of the Living Dead" they can download it or have it streamed from here.

http://www.archive.org/details/night_of_the_living_dead

It's in the public domain.

Jackie

Jeff said...

"thirty fat guys, a screen shouter, a mall rat, and the stinky spam sandwich!" OMG LOL You've got to work this scenario into one of your future novels!
But I know exactly what you mean. On more than one occasion, your's truly has sat in a nearly empty theatre with a huge tub of popcorn ewwwing and awwwing at what some in my family tell me is absolute garbage and a waste of money. But what do they know? lol
Hey, zombies are cool, but "The Exorcist" scared the living crap outta me! It took me a month to get over that one.
Gotta love it . . .:)

anne frasier said...

OMG, Jackie! thanks for the link!

"there coming to get you, barbara!"

i love the way that movie was shot. the low camera angles, the lighting. wow. and there's just something about black and white that seems scarier to me that color.

jeff: the exorcist scared the hell out of me, too. maybe because it was 'based on a true story" if i remember correctly.

e-mom said...

I hate scary movies.

emeraldcite said...

My wife and I are huge zombie fans. I know this post is way way back, but I just ran into it. We loved Land of the Dead. We're amassing quite the zombie collection.

I'll have to make a list of the best zombie movies on my blog...

ps. Maybe the creepiest part of Land was the company in the theatre...we're self-proclaimed geeks, but even we didn't fit in...

anne frasier said...

i've added a zombie magazine link to my template. these guys started this online magazine, put a ton of work into it, but so far the first issue hasn't come out. it was supposed to be out in march! anyway, they have a fairly decent forum with a lot of information -- although it's not very active since the magazine kind of pooped out.

yeah, the audience in the theater was a little scary. :D