Tuesday, February 14, 2006

what would you do?

say you just met your editor for the first time. you're nervous. eating at some posh restaurant with white tablecloths and an intimidating waiter.

what would you do if you took a bite, began chewing, and suddenly found yourself with a mouthful of rancid, rotten food?

would you swallow it?

or spit the whole thing out in your cloth napkin?

(this never happened to me. honest.)

my avatar is so squished. hehe

13 comments:

stay_c said...

I'd spit it out. I know I would be horrified after the fact, but if it were really that bad, the alternative would be up-chucking on the table cloth.

Kelly Parra said...

I'd stop in mid-chew, discreetly lift my cloth napkin over my mouth and maybe fake a sneeze? *laughs* Then excuse myself to the restroom until my face stopped turning red. ;D

Jeff said...

Honestly? I'd probably grab my throat in a mock choking episode. Rise to my feet, stumble from table to table allowing everyone to get an opportunity to watch my attempt to hock up whatever was lodged in my throat. Then, right before someone tried a valiant Heimlich on me and broke a rib or two, I'd forcefully expel the spoiled wad across the dining room floor! After that, I would simply raise my hands and turn slowly to the thundering applause of fellow diners while chanting, "I'm alright, I'm alright."
I guess after that I'd take my seat and order dessert and coffee. :)

Tribe said...

Jeff...you've been reading way too much Chuck Pahliunuk.

jason evans said...

My first instinct would be to swallow it, then drink a whole lot of water. Then, I might consider seeing if anyone else at the table might like a sample of my delicious entree. But then again, I have a sick sense of humor.

Rob Gregory Browne said...

I'd cover my face with my napkin and spit it out. Then immediately call the waiter over.

Actually, if I was nervous, meeting with my editor for the first time, I'd probably have a simple salad.

Makes life easier.

emeraldcite said...

I'd go with the RGB answer. Spit it out and alert the waiter.

Free meal. You just saved your editor money. According to the Book of Konrath, that would a big plus in your book...

:)

anne frasier said...

sadly, i might actually swallow it. or if i could think quickly enough, i'd go for kelly's solution.
and yes, something light is usually a good idea -- except that editors usually take writers to fancy joints where you're kind of expected to order a meal. i always ask if they have half portions, and that usually gets a dirty look from the waiter. you can't take the leftovers with you because you're usually staying at a hotel.

anne frasier said...

jeff, i think you just wrote some great flash fiction there!

Shesawriter said...

I would say a polite, "Excuse me," gracefully take the napkin from my lap, turn my head and quietly spit that sludge OUT.

Tanya

Mark Pettus said...

Am I the only person here who ever watched La Femme Nakita? You do not use the napkin, you spit the food into your hand, and place it on the plate, or so the stodgy British lady who taught Nakita her table manners said.

Most cowboys would just spit it into the nearest cup.

Mark Pettus said...

Speaking of your avatar, unless I'm mistaken, you killed Kenny. You bastard.

anne frasier said...

i'm impressed by all the spitters. i'm horrified to think i would swallow it, but that would be my initial reaction. another character flaw to work on.

poor kenny!