you turn in the manuscript and wait for feedback.
that's a very vulnerable time. doesn't matter if you're unpublished or have written 50 books. when the project you thought would knock editors out is instead declared a POS, you tend to lose perspective. especially from a fetal position.
but with distance i see that i was right. doesn't make me feel any better, because the damage is done. i added the scene i was told to add, and there it is in all its glory, sticking out like a neon sign. it's clumsy and contrived, and completely goes against what i was trying to do. it takes place in the first third of the book, when readers are trying to decide if they should keep going or put the book down and never pick it up again. to be honest, most readers probably won't even notice it, but to me it's a pretty big deal because it's not just a scene, it actually tampers with the structure, mood, and pace of the book.
it's like a clown with balloons suddenly walked across the page. :D
the scene does have a purpose, but it's something that could have been achieved in a different way. sigh. the rest of is book is fairly solid, so i'm hoping it still holds up.
anyway, it's done.
i have a new editor for the next book.
we'll see how that goes. i'm not somebody who doesn't think she should be edited. anybody who reads my blog knows i need an editor! we all need editors. this was just a case of conflicting visions. it happens.