Tuesday, April 11, 2006

the year of living whorishly

i started my blog last april. I can't believe i've been whoring myself for a year now. this bowie quote pretty much sums up my feelings about whoring:

If you're going to work in a whorehouse, you'd better be the best whore in it." - Bowie (1991)

I don't really consider my blog as whoring, although it is to some degree. some days i'm more of a whore than other days. But before last april, the only thing i did to whore myself was a website. i didn't promote in any way. didn't go to conferences, rarely did book signings, rarely went to any kind of event that had anything to do with writing or writers. i'd actually tried self-promotion years ago, decided it was a huge waste of time and money, and quit. but last year i thought i'd give it another try. the blog. leave the cave more often. (i don't think that counts.) the book video. maybe a magazine ad. volunteering. local chapters. networking. GCC. message boards. lists. donations. book signings and conferences. thrillerfest and agreeing to be a judge. those 150 books. agreeing to speak at both thrillerfest and bouchercon even though sometimes speaking makes me pass out and crack my chin open. more on that later.

all this in hopes of raising my profile (or some such biz jargon.)

come september i should know if my whoring has paid off. my goal is to make the USA Today list. if that doesn't happen, i will quit the conferences and ads and book videos and all that stuff and go back in my cave, reclaim my life such as it is. although i will probably continue to blog. but not in a whorey way. whory. whorie.

countdown: 5 months

here are more nice whore quotes:

"We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town."
Jack Handy

"I've gone from saint to whore and back to saint again, all in one lifetime."
Ingrid Bergman

"There is a time to stop reading, there is a time to STOP trying to WRITE, there is a time to kick the whole bloated sensation of ART out on its whore-ass."
Charles Bukowski

"Cinema is an old whore, like circus and variety, who knows how to give many kinds of pleasure. Besides, you can't teach old fleas new dogs."
Federico Fellini

"There once was a whore in a cave,
Her friends continued to rave,
If her book doesn't sell,
She will say, "what the hell,"
And seclusion again she will crave."
Jeff Neale


Anonymous said...

Don't forget your backlist, Anne! You've got those puppies on the street corner with you.

I, for one, am damn glad you stepped out of the cave.

vampran said...

We all whore a bit!
I hope yours pays off!
I myself am the other side of the whore coin- I am the consumer of the whored out! So you can count me as a buyer of your new book!
A great man once said:

I spent all my money in a mexican whorehouse,
across the street from a catholic church,
and then i wiped off my revolver,
and i buttoned up my burgundy shirt,
i shot the morning in the back,
with my red wings on,
i told the sun he'd better go back down,
and if i can find a book of matches,
i'm goin' to burn this hotel down.
Mr. Siegal ( by Tom Waits)

emeraldcite said...

Hm. I like you outside the cave. I like whores.

I don't see how this doesn't work out for the best...


annefrasier said...

thanks, jason! :)

vampran: thanks! i didn't realize there were so many songs containing the word whore until i started looking for quotes. :D that's a good one!

emeraldcite: LOL!

whore is such a funny word. i don't know why. prostitute isn't funny at all.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Don't think of it as whoring.

Think of yourself as servicing the needs of men and women around the world.

It's only slutty and immoral if you listen to the criticism.

emeraldcite said...

I like slutty and immoral.

Maybe I'm just not seeing the problem here...

Jer said...

meet you after work, emeraldcite

Kelly Parra said...

heh. I never thought of it this way before. But I really think your efforts will pay off. =D

emeraldcite said...

lol @ jer.

maybe when i said immoral i meant immortal. slight difference. ;)

then again, this whole conversation could devolve into love gods and goddesses and insane fertility rituals with statues of large, carved genitalia.

the ancient egyptians used to wear large phalluses as charms.

could you imagine that bridge game after church? "that's a lovely phallus you have around your neck, edna. is that twelve carets or twenty-four?"


anne: feel free to delete any of this if i hijacked your comments section too much. i'm a bit rambly today. :)

Jer said...

I'm just in a silly mood today. So, anne, your "whoring" doesn't bother me in the least. I am very happy to hear, however, that if you drop everything else "whore-like," you'll still keep your blog. Jer

anne frasier said...

i go for a walk and all hell breaks loose over here.


this seems like a good time to mention that my upcoming book is really porn and it's really called Pale IMMORAL.

kelly, whoring and you didn't know it! ;) i think it's a generational thing. yesterday's whore is today's smart business woman.
i do think all of this will be a good test since i'm with the same publisher. that's with the assumption that they do about the same amount of marketing they've done in the past. of course there is that strange cover that will also play a part in the equation...

and no, i won't delete a thing. i was drawing a blank on my own witty replies - thank god the rest of you kicked it into high gear. LOL!

Jeff said...

"There once was a whore in a cave,
Her friends continued to rave,
If her book doesn't sell,
She will say, "what the hell,"
And seclusion again she will crave."

emeraldcite said...

On the bright side, you know of several devoted fans right here who are gonna try and get you on that list. :)

Even if we are crude, immoral, blog-whores.

anne frasier said...

OMG, jeff!!! that is wonderful!! i love it! :D

emeraldcite: i love crude, immoral blog whores. :)

Rob Gregory Browne said...

I've never been so insulted in my life. Got a light, sailor? :)

emeraldcite said...

Come now, Rob. You like it.

Anonymous said...

yesterday's whore is today's smart business woman

ROLLING on that one, Anne! I'm going to use that line on all the women attorneys in my office. :D I may not live through tomorrow. Just letting you know.

anne frasier said...

rob and emeraldcite: LOL!
Jason: don't do it!!!

emeraldcite said...

lol @ jason

Sue-fest, eh?

Bet it makes CNN.

Lawyer to Female Co-Workers: "Whore!"

Lawyer Jason Evans, in a bid to win the affections of his female co-workers, posited an interesting theory over lunch: "Yesterday's whore is today's smart business woman."

Much to his chagrin, the women were upset. They released a joint statement several hours later noting that they were going to press charges.

Evans responded: "But whoring is the oldest profession in the world! It's quite reputable and well-established."

He added, "Anne Frasier, the best-selling author, said it first! I was just telling them about it. They completely took it the wrong way."

"As always, there are two sides to every coin and he will get a chance to defend himself," the three women, whose names have not been released pending litigation.

emeraldcite said...

Well, anne, this'll learn ya. You'll never mention "whore" in a post again.

anne frasier said...

LOL!! maybe it's not a theory but a slogan.

anne frasier said...

Well, anne, this'll learn ya. You'll never mention "whore" in a post again.

i was just thinking i need to mention it every day. haha

Anonymous said...

Emeraldcite, I am so screwed!! =D

jamie ford said...

I think blogging in general is sort of a modern codpiece fetish. But if you're an author, it's your life. It's an extension of who you are. And because of your blog, I bought your book, which I just finished tonight by the way. Great stuff.

anne frasier said...

codpiece fetish. now there's a description we can all use when attempting to explain blogging to the baffled. LOL!

i do wonder if blogging popularity will eventually fade.

i'm glad you enjoyed the book. :)

waldo said...

Vampran - and, if you'd like to see a local ensemble perform that Waits' song and many others, you should check out the Waits' retrospective, "Warm beer Cold Women" playing at the Music Box Theater on Mondays. Okay, now I'm whoring for my brother.

anne frasier said...

waldo, you ARE whoring!! LOL! that's okay. we're all whores here.

i don't think vampran lives in mn, but that's a great web site. love the photos!

waldo said...

It's really a fun show. My brother is a total Waits fanatic. A couple of years ago, I was going to do a documentary on it called, "Waiting for Tom Waits" - with the intent of trying to get Tom to come to Mpls to see the show. I only completed a teaser, which I have posted on my website - waldofilms.com
the footage of the show was when they were doing it at the Bryant Lake Bowl a few years ago, consumer camera, dark theater, but you get the jist of it.

anne frasier said...

very cool, waldo!!

i love the 8mm footage. that tricycle stuff was great!!

Rob Gregory Browne said...

29 Comments. Wow. I'm going to use the word whore in my next blog post and see what happens.

anne frasier said...

rob: yes, the magic word is whore. :D

Jer said...

I travel to LA and look what happens. I'm no longer the "funny guy" here. Drat. I must get back to Milwaukee to replenish my funny juices.

anne frasier said...

jer, you'll always be our funny guy. ;)